butch
--a masculine woman, usually a lesbian
 

butch/femme
--1) (adj) describing a relationship in which one person is femme and one is butch, and describing the dynamic between them 2) the social structure prevalent in working-class lesbian bars up through the early 1970s. This structure was strictly enforced by peer pressure. One had to be either a butch or a femme, and butches only dated femmes and femmes only dated butches. There was a lot of backlash against this structure in the 1970s when lesbian feminism emerged, and for a long time butches and femmes were absolutely politically incorrect, and were likely to be shunned by the feminist lesbian community. Butch/femme is starting to make a comeback. In its new form, it is not rigidly enforced: women are butch or femme because it is their own personality, and nothing else. Butch-on-butch and femme-on-femme are no longer discriminated against. There is, however, still very strong anti-butch/femme sentiment.
 

boston marriage
--an early 1900's era term meaning intimate lesbian love relationships, usually where the couple lived together.
 

Castro, The
--Castro Street in San Francisco and the area surrounding it. The Castro District is the gay ghetto, where queer couples walking hand-in-hand are a more common sight than straight ones.
 

choir
--as in, "she sings in our choir." Meaning that someone is queer.
 

closet
--where one hides with one's clothes. Gays who are not public about being gay are said to be "in the closet."
 

coming out
--to exit the closet by becoming openly queer
 

commitment ceremony
--a nonlegal ceremony in which a lebsian or gay couple, in the company of friends and family, declare their vows and love for each other. sometimes this is modeled after heterosexual weddings, such as having a cake with two brides or grooms on top, but this isn't always the case.
 

dyke
--a lesbian, frequently one with attitude
 

femme
--a feminine woman, usually a lesbian
 

flagging
--to wear a hanky to show what kind of sexual activity one is interested in
 

flannel-shirt dyke
--usually a very casual lesbian who is neither butch nor femme, but is generally very capable; so called for the habit of wearing plaid flannel shirts whenever the weather permits. They tend to be outdoors-types. There are flannel-shirt butches and femmes, but not as many of them, since the stereotype of the flannel-shirt dyke emerged during the 1970s when "The Uniform" for lesbians was jeans and a flannel shirt.
 

glamour butch
--a butch who likes to wear fancy suits, tuxedos, etc, frequently.
 

graceful
--the translation of an Arabic euphemism for a female homosexual, apparently because many female dancers are/were lesbian
 

hanky code
--the code used primarily by gay men, but also by some lesbians, when cruising to signal to potential partners exactly what they are seeking. Each color of bandanna or hanky signifies a different sexual act, and is usually worn in the back pocket. If the hanky is worn on the left, it means that the wearer is a top or wishes to give a particular thing; on the right, that the wearer is a bottom or wishes to receive a particular thing. eg: In lesbian hanky code, light pink signifies a dildo or strap-on. If a light pink hanky is worn on the left, then the wearer is packing or likes to wear a dildo. If the hanky is worn on the right, then the wearer likes to recive a dildo.
 

homocentric
--the belief that two of a kind beats a straight
 

leather dyke
--a lesbian who dresses like she participates in the S/M or leather community, regardless if she actually does or not.
 

lesbian
--a woman who is physically and emotionally attracted to other women, instead of men. this term comes from the island of "lesbos," home of the famous lesbian poet sappho.
 

love that dare not speak its name, the
--one of the more poetic phrases used to describe homosexuality, courtesy of Lord Alfred Douglas, the fellow who got Oscar Wilde in so much trouble
 

low femme
--a femme lesbian who is, pershaps, not quite so stereotypically feminine as a high femme, usually preferring jeans and a blouse or t-shirt to skirts for everyday. Also known as a blue jeans femme.
 

Sappho
--ancient Greek poetess and headmistress of a school for young women on the island of Lesbos. Sappho wrote poetry, much of which is now lost, about her female lovers, who were frequently students at her finishing school. She had a daughter, Kleïs, to whose father she may or may not have been married; there is some debate on this point.
 

soft butch
--a butch lesbian who is, perhaps, not so stereotypically masculine as a stone butch
A butch can be sexually stone, as in, not being able to permit herself to be touched on the genitals for sex; emotionally stone, meaning that she has locked away her emotions and has trouble acknowledging or expressing them; or physically stone, having trouble being touched at all. A stone butch is usually some combination of all of these. One stone butch summed up hir essence with the statement, "It is a cool crawling sensation that causes a roaring rushing of white sound in the ears."
 

third sex
--a term once used to describe gay men, lesbians, and transgendered people because they were seen as being born with the body of one sex but the soul of another.
 

tomboy
--a young butch girl.
 

toaster oven
--referring to the coming out episode of the TV show Ellen, wherein Ellen Morgan's new friend who has just revealed herself to be a lesbian makes a crack about if she had converted one more person, she would have gotten a toaster. Ellen, deep in denial of her own sexuality, says that if that's gay humor, she doesn't get it. Later, Ellen goes to the airport to find her new friend and tell her "I got the toaster joke." At the end, lesbian rock star Melissa Etheridge puts in a brief appearance to sign Ellen up as gay and give Ellen's friend her toaster. Thus the shirt, "Ask me how you can win a toaster."
 

transgendered
--a person who was born with a sex different from their gender, such as a woman who feels like a man (female transitioning to male) or a man who feels like a woman (male transitioning to female). this is not an issue of sexual orientation, however. this makes up an estimated 1% of the population, along with transsexual people. some also describe transgendered as meaning a person who transgresses all gender boundries and rules, rather than just following those for their opposite sex.
 

transvestite
--a person who dresses like the opposite sex, whether male or female, gay or straight. these people are also called cross-dressers. this makes up an estimated 1% of the population.
 

U-hauls
--used to refer to lesbians who fall in love at first sight and move in right away with a new lover. This phenomenon is so well-known within the lesbian community that it resulted in the joke "What does a lesbian take on her second date? A U-haul."